Broken

Its been this way forever.It feels like a journey that never ends constantly searching from that one thing.Imagine you look up its colorful yet its cloudy and that clouds are your insecurities and you look up with hope you see colors you love they come and go like the seasons.Its been a journey for me but I've yet to find it in my case its love its always been and will be.Which kind of love you may ask ? the answer is any that makes me feel i'm actually important and special for once.Remember the colorful world i was talking about when you look around you find this floating balls of light well those are the people important to you they float along you and illuminating you on the cloudy days.Well this journey has lead me into a lot of problems some might even remain forever.I'm broken inside i'll always want someone to love me and i get jealous when someone gets close to the ones i love by that i still mean all types of love.I wonder sometimes if i will ever have partial little genetic copies of me ? if i do i want to make sure i love them with all i have and show them. Cause I've never had that all I've had is things given to me to quench the absence of love and out of guiltiness.It might all come out as desperate but there a big hole inside.Sometimes i even get tired from all the walking in that colorful world its kind of weird i don't know how to say it.At the end i just want to be loved like everyone else.I feel weak at times cause when people are kind to me my heart waivers so much cause it has never experience it before and i get to get a little attached.I wish i could make this feeling go away but it wont.